Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
