Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i need some magic done to my vagina
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
