sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
