I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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