you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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