i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
