I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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