it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
