remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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