if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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