I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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