so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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