I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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