my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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