if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
