I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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