wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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