He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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