OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so let's talk penis.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
