Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
