watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
