I cut my penus on the lid.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
