I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
