Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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