Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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