Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
