google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
