the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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