When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
