I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
