Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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