I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
