You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
