We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
