Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
