Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
