My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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