when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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