yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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