Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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