they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
