she smelled like a LAN party
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
