And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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