No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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