Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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