AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
