I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The adults are the big ones right?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
