So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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