areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
In America we eat man semen.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
