Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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