they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
